Updated: Apr 10
Do you have an emotional bank account and do pay into other people's emotional bank account? No? Well, we all should. This is a powerful metaphor developed by Stephen Covey called the Emotional Bank Account that needs to be passed along. Have you heard about this metaphor? Yes? Please tell me your interpretation of it. If not, I have created a short YouTube video that you can watch and do not forget to subscribe.
In a nutshell, the emotional bank account is an account of trust, instead of money.
So how can we make deposits into people's emotional bank accounts and how can we withdraw from the same? This is pretty much our family, friends, people we work with.
Covey identifies 6 ways to deposit trust (very practical and easy to understand in my view):
Understanding the individual. By this I mean really try to understand the individual (if you pretend then people are quickly going to pick up on this). It is about genuinely listening to their concerns, updates, plans and showing compassion where needed without you expecting anything in return. Simply show you care.
Keeping commitments. Can we please simply ensure that we do what we say we would do? If we agree to meet up at a park at 1pm, then let's meet up at the park at 1pm (unless something critical takes place of course, in which case, please explain honestly what is happening). Arriving on time at agreed meetings in general as one example, you will build up an emotional reserve by keeping your commitments and come across reliable.
Clarifying expectations. This is so important when it comes to managing each other's expectations. We should never assume that people know what is expected of them, especially in a work environment. Ensure that people around you know what you will do and what you expect them to do. It is as simple as this. Always ask questions and encourage them to clarify if need be. Life will be much easier for all of us. This will create a greater level of trust.
Caring about little things. Little things matter so much and can make a huge difference when it comes to trust building between the two people. Small acts of kindness help, a smile, a hug, unexpected help, call, text, getting a book for someone, flowers, because you wanted to do it rather than had to do it. This is all its needed. These are great trust and friendship builders.
Showing personal integrity. My favourite indeed. Integrity is defined as the quality of always behaving according to the moral principles that you believe in, so that people respect and trust you. I will simple stop here, the line has explained it all.
Apologising when we need to make a withdrawal. I do this one all the time. I simply know when I need to. I apologise to my husband, my son, friends and family. I accept feedback and ensure it does not happen again. We all make mistakes all the time but the one line that I will stand by until I am gone is - Honesty is the best policy!
Now, think about your own emotional bank account, other people around you and if you are indeed depositing enough.
Stephen wrote a book called the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People* which I suggest that everyone should read.
There is also a book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens* by Sean Covey that I think we should all read. I am planning to do a video on both books, so watch this space and subscribe for more golden nuggets.
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Best wishes all
(*this is an affiliate link which means if you buy it via this link I get a very small %. Thank you!).