Most of us would like to enjoy our conversations and be a person who people like to talk to. I know I always strive to be described as someone who people actually want to speak to rather than to avoid.
By simply asking good quality questions (ideally one at a time rather than 5 questions as one question), pausing for the other person collect their thoughts before they answer it and listening carefully with no interrupting, we will offer to people around us great conversation experiences and an opportunity for them to learn something about themselves through thinking, reflecting and analysing their answers after the conversations.
If you are not sure how to structure your conversations, try the 4 C model (an example provided) :
CONTACT
CONTRACT
CONVERSATION
CONCLUSION
Contact - create contact with the person and purpose by focusing listening, questioning and being present.
Contract - agree what you will work on and how you will work together
Conversation - create space to think and get under the skin of the topic, checking with person and purpose, being supportive and challenging.
Conclusion - create commitment to action
When having these coaching type conversation, it is important that we are aware of below during the conversation:
ACKNOWLEDGE - for example, what they have said, how they are feeling, their competence.
ASSERT - for example, your position, your reasoning, your needs.
AGREE - for example, focus on areas of agreement, ask them for their ideas and build on them.
If you notice any tension, resistance or possibility of disagreement, avoid below:
ERASER WORDS - for example, but, thought, however.
EMOTIVE WORDS - for example, issue, problem.
JARGON - for example, 'out of the box', 'reinventing the wheel', 'fostering moose.'
DOWNLOAD below a full example conversation that you can save in your documents and refer to as and when you need it.
You can also watch my YouTube video on this topic too. Subscribe if you haven't already so far.
Subscribe for my weekly blogs and newsletters too HERE.
Share this with friends and family who may benefit from my videos and content.
Send me an email if you have any queries - info@focusyourself.co.uk
Best wishes
Sanja