These last 2 weeks have been the worst in my professional career. I have had so many challenges that really tested my resilience and I was in a very dark place for a few weeks.
I would like to discuss pressure points, how to recognise stress that is hidden and how to ultimately get out of these situations in a work environment.
Personal resilience is the ability to cope with extreme stress-provoking events without experiencing any personal stress signs or symptoms.
If you are interested in learning more about personal resilience, start from here.
Recognise the signs. Little ones matter most.
If you notice not only workload but EXPECTATIONS are changing and more and more is expected from you that somehow has just piled up over time, it is important to SPEAK UP (please dont bottle up) before it gets to you.
My first signs were as follows that I never had before:
Daily headaches
Shaky start of the day
Fast heart beating
Nervousness before meetings
If you let it gets to you, this is what happens (or at least this is what I notice I was going through):
Defensive, critical and too challenging in meetings
Emails may be abrupt
No patience for colleagues
Blame others
I am sure this list can go on...
Realisation moment. Set boundaries.
As soon you realise this is happening to you, pause, (1) book a meeting with your manager and say you cannot cope. It does not matter if you get along or not with your manager. What is important to be honest. Honesty is the best policy. I suggest that you say: "I cannot cope anymore, workload is too much for me at the moment, I need help, could we please discuss to manage expectations as to what is expected from me and agree a plan?"
This is what I did and it worked. It felt like a huge stone falling off my chest. I could breathe finally.
Also, (2) please speak to your trusted circle of work colleagues (who you know will be your friends when you leave at some point) for their advice. I cannot emphasise how important this is. Please speak to your colleagues. If you ever wish to discuss with me, please book a coffee call with me here.
One of my colleagues who I see as a friend told me:
I cannot control what others say and do, BUT, I can control myself and what I do!
This is so true to me. What do you think?
Susan David is my favourite psychologist who talks about emotions. Emotions are indicators of what is important to us. So if I am angry with work, this means that I value my time with my family and my free time, and when I don't have it because of work, I turn to anger.
Take her FREE quiz here to learn more about yourself, emotions and how to manage it all.
Next steps
And breathe! You have done an amazing job for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries.
If you want to learn more about it, please see below and read more about Professor Derek Mowbray's work.
With love
Sanja